I'd like to think myself as an adventurous/spontaneous man. I like to go on random road trips half across the country, take camping trips in the middle of nowhere, music festivals, frolf, fish, and bike. But nothing quite compares to sitting on my lazy bum in front of a television for an entire weekend.
When we were talking of media in class, I like to think I have the same outlook as Patrick does. When friends interrupt my mini-marathons of Netflix with snide comments of how ridiculous it is that I'm watching an episode of Hey Arnold!, - Christ Anthony. I didn't know you were still in fifth grade. Stop wasting our time. - I respond with the most elegant comeback in all of language; "Shut the hell up dude."
On numerous occasions, I've tried to explain to my Paul Blart: Mall Cop* watching friends that there is much to learn from some of the great shows/movies that have graced american television.
Some things I've learned:
1. Freaks and Geeks: I was not as cool as I thought I was in high school thanks to Daniel (James Franco.) Sure I had hair past my shoulders and (attempted to) play guitar for the ladies, but I never had a fake I.D. or snuck into a bar or wore a leather jacket in high school. I'm not that cool.
2. Mad Men: As I sit and watch the season 6 premiere, I realize I never looked as sexy as Jon Hamm when I smoked American Spirits for a whole summer.
3. The Brady Bunch: If I ever want to score a babe like Carol, major in architecture
4. Say Anything: If I want said babe to love me forever, pull a Dobler**
5. Ghostbusters: When someone asks if you're a god, you say 'yes'
6. Big Fish: Even though some stories seem a little far-fetched, it's best to just suspend disbelief at all times. All great stories have some flair.
7. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers: If something as small as a potato has so many options in life*** then I should understand that my possibilities are endless
8. Rope: If I murder someone, don't throw a party while the weapon/body are still in the room.
9. The O'Reilly Factor: Wow. Politics are crazy
10. The Colbert Report: Wow. O'Reilly is crazy. (Or a genius?) Politics are crazy.
11. Blue Valentine: Even when soul mates find one another, no matter how hard they try, a relationship will make them go crazy and inevitably fail. I should never "get serious."
12. Silver Linings Playbook: Even when found in the most dire of relationship woes, we can find the most beautiful forms of affection. I need to settle down with someone.
13. Hey Arnold!: Always be kind. Play more baseball in vacant lots. Go out of your way for others in need. Act like grandpa Phil if I'm lucky enough to live past 50. No matter the struggles you face, don't be a prick.****
*I don't hate those who enjoy Paul Blart, but I have a friend who thinks it is one of the funniest movies ever created. The same friend also said The Godfather was a bad movie. He's only seen the first 10 minutes of it. He couldn't understand the Don.
**Since we have mentioned him a couple times in class, I thought it would be appropriate to name drop Chuck Klosterman. He has an essay entirely dedicated to his hate of John Cusack's character, Lloyd Dobler. He talks of how Dobler has set the expectations too high for men seeking a woman and that this is the reason why he'll end up alone; it would be impossible to pull a Dobler in reality. I call bologna on Mr. Klosterman. I'd thank Dobler. Now I know the standard for swooning women.
***In LotR: The Two Towers, Sam proclaims that PO-TAE-TOES can be boiled, smashed, or stuck in a stew. The simple potato can be cooked so many different ways (he didn't even mentioned 'baked.' That's what I meant by them having "options"
****While some of the mentions on the list seem a little ridiculous, I full heartedly believe I have learned most from the tube. It has taught me more than any religion; more than my parents; certainly more than my friends. So now I quote from Patrick from class a couple weeks ago: "I see bumper stickers on cars that say 'blow up your television' and I just wanna say 'fuck you.'
I liked this list a lot. I think every tv show/movie has a lesson in it somewhere, but not everyone takes the time to think about what that lesson may be (even if it is as simple as potatoes having many uses). I thought it was cool that you took those lessons and applied them to yourself. You rounded the post out well by capping it with not being a "prick" because isn't that kind of life's lesson? If you're nice and happy then life will probably be alright.
ReplyDeleteAlso, The Godfather is my mom's favorite movie. I haven't seen it... yeah I suck.
Also x2, I wish I could ride a bike well. Anytime I hear about someone enjoying bicycling, I get jealous because I manage to fall at least twice per bike ride. It's somewhat amusing for whomever I'm with.
Also x3, this video might change how you think of John Hamm. I know that every time I hear his name I automatically, no fail think of this:
http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/jon-hamms-john-ham/n12339/
First Rocky, now Godfather? For shame Angela. For shame. Of course, I only kid. Kind of. Both of these movies can be found on (Mr.) Dave's "You haven't seen _____?!?" list mentioned on Patrick's blog post "Short Takes #6." I'm was sad to see The Godfather was placed at 28.
DeleteAlso, the Jon Hamm video helped. I felt like he was looking at my forehead the whole time.
Ha! I just re-watched it, and now I'm self conscious of my forehead.
DeleteSo this is a good start, but I think it has more potential. I especially like the stuff about Blue Valentine and Silver Linings Playbook. Can you brainstorm a half-dozen ways in which popular media gives us these mixed messages and make that the center of your essay? This could be your revised blogpost for your portfolio.
ReplyDeleteDW
The internet has so many lists, but I think yours holds its own (and I just saw one today that analyzed 28 South Koreans before and after plastic surgery which was dreadfully interesting, so this is a serious compliment). I like that you both capture the versatility of the potato and impart on your reader some understanding yourself and relationships. You're like a writing-potato. (By the way, Sam also doesn't mention that you can 'fry' potatoes which is personally my favorite way to eat them. And neither of you mention scallop, shame on you for missing a chance to say scallop.)
ReplyDeleteHonestly, Anthony, I found this to be delightful. (Also, it inspired me to try harder to steal my brother's netflix account information because hey, arnold, right?) I agree with Dave though that this could be expanded. 500 final short essay for your portfolio? I think there's enough possibility here for something interesting.
Great title. Incidentally, I think I was suppossed to comment on this two, maybe three, Fridays ago. And I can't believe I didn't! I find it very embarrassing that I was name-checked in an essay and didn't comment on it till now.
ReplyDeleteI agree with what you've said and I like your list a lot; and I can't think of much to add to it, except maybe:
1. The cast of Mad Men actually smokes herbal cigarettes on camera. Perhaps that's the secret to sexiness.
2. Specifically, if you kill someone and have a party a table with them inside it, don't invite Jimmy Stewart and expect him to be impressed. Just invite your stupid friends, who won't figure it out.
Great post.